The Toronto Raptors' unexpected season is up in the air, and due to freak circumstances so will I be when the crunch game 7 concludes on Sunday.
Last night a fortnight of staying up late and watching the games at 1am European time with split-shifts on sleep (3 hours before and after) caught up with me and with a heavy heart I turned the game off halfway through the 2nd with the team down 16. It seemed I didn't miss much as the team didn't get closer than 10 of the Nets.
This is how the alternate-universe "Tank Raptors" should have performed. They couldn't defend, couldn't score and only impossible buckets from DeRozan kept them anywhere near sight. The sight of Jonas getting into foul trouble with two senseless offensive fouls, the sight of panicked rotations, jumping on pump fakes and watching the team walk into half court and then fail to even penetrate the three-point line was a tough a watch as I've had in my time watching this team.
Now they face the game of their lives, a matinee tip off at the Air Canada Centre which means 6pm in the UK - where I fly from - and 7pm in the Netherlands, where I fly to. I land Dutch time about 9pm, and won't get to home or good wifi til gone 10. By then the series will be over and I'll miss the drama, the nerves and the excitement of the game 7.
I'm absolutely gutted.
Watching these games live in the middle of the night has been an incredible experience. I found myself punching the air at Kyle Lowry 3s and DeRozan's charges, I've found myself yelling at imaginary refs for poor calls and I had the pit of my stomach completely sick at the sight at a 20-odd point lead evaporate in game 5.
I'll get to Haarlem on Sunday and will already know if my adopted Toronto Raptors will be headed to Miami or headed home. If we're going to Miami, I'll smile, I'll probably re-watch the game in League Pass and I'll read all the reports twice over. If we lose, I'll feel numb like it's not happened. And like that, the season will be over.
I think they can win. My worry is that they don't think they can win. They keys to each of the games Toronto has won has been aggression from the start, it's been Jonas's involvement at both ends and it's been Kyle Lowry's sheer grit.
I'm yet to hear conviction from the Raptors camp that they can do it, they must be completely in a daze over the last 5 quarters of basketball.
The good news is that they are at the Air Canada Centre. Could those 20,000 fans inside (and around half outside) provide the spark and the lift needed? Coaches will tell you that the fans won't influence these games. I don't buy it. That wall of Canadian noise that greets every dunk or three-pointer, the rendition of "O Canada" and the taunting boos whenever Brooklyn get a call - I think the Raptors will feed off it, and I think they'll go to Miami.
Let's Go Raptors.
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